Feeling the Baby!

So I felt the baby the other day!  I forgot how amazing that feeling is.  To feel the life that is growing in your stomach makes it more than real.  But I have to say this little kid is sure a mover!  Always jumping around and making me stop to feel the movement.  We shall see if it continues as the baby gets bigger.  But if it does I'm in for a lot of belly dances!

Testing my Temper

So if you knew me as a child you knew I had a temper.  Still do but have quite a bit more control of it and don't lose control very often.  Well yesterday my little girl sure decided it was time to test the limits and see how far she could push mommy.  You know from my last post that I don't feel very good and well the mood swings are starting to kick in.  So it doesn't take much right now to push my buttons.  First we went to the store in the morning and she is usually really helpful and loves to be at the store.  But according to her I wasn't letting her help me enough so she tired to climb the shopping cart.  Now having a bad experience of tipping a shopping cart while younger has made me very caution when it comes to shopping carts.  Well Kayla didn't want to here the words no or please get down and then proceeded to throw herself to the floor and throw a fit.  Again I'm very tired and didn't really want to deal with this so I just ignored it and proceeded to pay for the grocerys.  When she realized that she wasn't getting any attention she stop and we made it out of the store without anymore incidents.  Score one for me.

Well the next part is well a nightmare to me.  I had just gotten a brand new glider rocking chair and ottoman!  I love this thing!  So we get home I needed to rest so I put in a movie and Kayla is sitting in the glider.  I look over and this is what I see.  Yes that's right that is pen all over my brand new chair.  She knew she was in trouble.  I asked her to go to her room so I could cool off and she did it.  I think she realized how much trouble she was in and when I went into her room she was laying on her bed with the look of terror in her eyes.  I was able to keep my cool and explained about where we can color and she told me sorry.  Score two for me!  Lucky for me all the pen came out with a carpet stain remover pretty easily.
I am happy to say I made it through that day with out losing it.  It would have been a lot easier but then I would have had so much guilt for losing it.

Tired of being tired!

So I have been crazy tired this pregnancy and it's really hard to do my job and more importantly to be a good mom to Kayla.  Because I'm tired I am also very cranky.  I have to catch myself before exploding at simple things.  My work doesn't know I'm pregnant yet and they have noticed how tired I am.  I just want to wait until I'm past the scariest time and risk of miscarriage before I tell them.  It's really frustrating to not be able to explain myself and I just have to plaster a smile on my face and hope for the best.  I'm hoping this will past with time and that I will have more energy to keep up with my beautiful baby girl. 

On another note I found out an old friend of mine just had a miscarriage.  It broke my heart!  I know how much she loves kids and wanted kids and she will be a good mommy.  But of course it's hard to find the words to let that friend that you care.  I don't know what she is going through and can't imagine.  It has been on my mind for the past couple weeks of how to reach out to her but I just can't figure out what to do.  It also freaks me out because I am about as pregnant as she was when she miscarried.  I know it shouldn't freak me out but it does.  Well that is what is on my mind of late and the things I'm working through.
Bye