Life is complicated.

So trying to figure out what to do with work and the two kids in January has really been pressing on our minds.  It's so expensive to have an infant in child care even with a discount.  I also have that nagging that I really just want to be a full time mom.  It's always in the back of my mind but I know that I need to help out and work.  Some days are harder then others to go to work and miss my daughters funny games and watch her grow.  It seems like a constant battle within me and sometime I feel defeated.  Like today when Kayla's eye was all gross and she needed to go to the doctor and I couldn't get out of work and lucky for me Graydon was able to get her.  I want to be able to just be there in a second to fix things.  It was just a tough day and tomorrow when me and Graydon have juggled our schedules to be able to keep her home.  I wish it was easier to not have to juggle.  Sorry I'm complaining but some days it hits me harder than others.  I just want to be mom today and I had to be mom and worker.  Oh well, I will pick myself up and get through it and know that it's best for my family.

It's a ......

Ultra sound was today and the baby looks really healthy and everything is there.  The baby's heart is beating strong.  Oh and we found out what we are having and the results are a.....

 

Hand sucking.....

 

Kicking baby.....

 

BOY!!!

Doctor appointment

I didn't get yelled at because I gained a pound!  He told me if I didn't start gaining weight last time we would have to look at why.  I measured a little big, (surprise) for 17 weeks but he wasn't worried.  Kayla almost didn't make it out of the doctors office alive!  She was going through other peoples purses and in general not listening to mommy at all!  So I sat her on a chair to have a talk with her and screaming ensued.  That lasted for about 10 mins!  I got those looks like just control your child.  It was not very fun.  So after I finally got her to stop screaming I was able to talk to her about how we act.  Lucky for me Graydon came to my rescue and took over while I saw the doctor.  It really got my temper flared and I was so irritated that she would act that way.  I had to remind myself that she is just 2.  So lets hope she learned from the experience that mommy means it when she says no and I can control my temper because I'm sure with two little ones I will need all the patience in the world.

 Oh here's a picture of me almost 19 weeks along.