Life is complicated.

So trying to figure out what to do with work and the two kids in January has really been pressing on our minds.  It's so expensive to have an infant in child care even with a discount.  I also have that nagging that I really just want to be a full time mom.  It's always in the back of my mind but I know that I need to help out and work.  Some days are harder then others to go to work and miss my daughters funny games and watch her grow.  It seems like a constant battle within me and sometime I feel defeated.  Like today when Kayla's eye was all gross and she needed to go to the doctor and I couldn't get out of work and lucky for me Graydon was able to get her.  I want to be able to just be there in a second to fix things.  It was just a tough day and tomorrow when me and Graydon have juggled our schedules to be able to keep her home.  I wish it was easier to not have to juggle.  Sorry I'm complaining but some days it hits me harder than others.  I just want to be mom today and I had to be mom and worker.  Oh well, I will pick myself up and get through it and know that it's best for my family.